A week back a long time friend of my husband posted an ill fated rant* which quickly descended into being a good old fashioned Internet Whipping Post Candidate. After a few posts in his defense, I called it a day/night and went on with real life, determined to get him to go out with my husband as his wing man at the first opportunity. Now that some time has passed and things have had time to stew, the thing that keeps coming to mind is "Just What Is Pretty, Anyway?".
I passed my 30th birthday last November, and within the last year I have run into girls who were both at the top and bottom of the "heap" in High School. I, of course, was closer to the bottom than the top, number three I think. The thing I noticed was that while all of these, now, women were quite lovely in their own ways. One worked at her families restaurant, another had gone into metalworking, another was a stay at home mother and so forth. But a couple had become what I can only describe as dumpy. Perhaps frumpy is a better word, but the effect was obvious.
Cut to a discussion my husband and I had the other evening. Last July we stayed at the home of another old friend to my husband. The fiancée to this friend is a woman with beautiful proportions, but a disposition that fluctuates from interesting (as in the good kind), to manipulative/passive aggressive. I have only met one friend of hers and she is another woman with beautiful proportions, but both women I can only describe as also dumpy.
If their figures are so well defined, their bone structures well placed, what leaves the impression that they are not attractive?
Let's move to the converse. The last time I was in Seattle, there was a woman walking down the opposite side of the street about a block ahead of me. She ended up crossing to the same side I was on. The thing I remember clearly about her were her posture and the huge smile she flashed to anyone who looked her way. This is incredibly rare in Seattle. It was non-existent in LA, and moderate in Berlin. Those being the only bigger cities I've been to, I figure a disclaimer is in order. In any case, in Seattle it is very rare. Even on reasonably nice days most folks tend to shlump around, whether emanating that emo vibe or because they're damp and cold, or because they are truly down on themselves I do not know. But the effect is that regardless of their physical attributes, the city as a whole is pretty unattractive. Another example is a girl who is nearly a twin to me, almost exactly one year younger with more charisma than I have words for. She is not overly attractive, though not ugly by any stretch. But she can always be found with some new beau, loaded with money and driving a nice car. Many, many times I have had both female and male friends wonder "how she does it".
It would seem that it all comes down to carriage and personal perception. Any woman, or man, who carries themselves with honest confidence will be more attractive than if they show ego or machismo, "attitude". By simply showing confidence a person starts out one step ahead. That immediately tells the world "I am worth it", "I am good enough", "I deserve good things". And, interestingly enough, that makes people want to give them good things. Whether or not they are a worthy mate is all in personal perception, but one of the fundamental things to making a person pretty is how they project themselves. So, chin up. It doesn't take the perfect body or idea hair, the right clothes or fragrance, just confidence.
To bring this back to the unfortunate blogger, I have a vague idea of what he finds physically attractive, and of those there are a number in the area, however, if they are slumped over a cellphone texting someone, he just might not see them.
*Just a quick note, please keep in mind that this is just a rant. We all have them.
